note to reader: if you like weddings or the wedding process
stop reading now.
if not, then continue by all means.
if personality was a sign of how a wedding is suppose to be,
then i hate my personality,
because i can't stand this wedding process. siiiick of it. of yours, of mine, of hers.
basically there are all the same, no matter what color ribbon you choose.
no matter if you have a cake or not
no matter if you think you are an alternative bride or not.
its all a game to see how broke you can be, just to prove your love to a bunch of people
that are just there for the booze anyways.
this isn't fun. this is a bunch of social bullshit.
fuck you wedding industry. i hate your guts.
church weddings-no thanks, don't want to be boxed in by a building.
counseling-say no to AACCS. ugh, so fucking conservative. they just want to cram their religion down your throat.
ring shopping-no thanks, jewels-can do without
wedding dress-i'm broke now, reception-so unnessary that i couldn't put too much effort in it
people-some you like, so you don't, family-too many opinions that you might or might not care about
you-stressed, your partner-stressed
feelings, thoughts- (i want to throw up)
this post wants to be WAY blunter than it will be.
i have already self-editted it so i am not cussing out everyone that reads this.
i hate the wedding business
i hate ceremony
i hate tradition and all these so-called "benchmarks"
i didn't want to walk in either my high school or college graduation
i mean i already graduated, whats was the fucking point? to get a lei? to take a picture?
for a memory?
nor do i care for things like prom...and all the rest of these supposed benchmarks.
honestly, the events in my life that made a mark, have been fucking hard, and days like graduation and wedding are just pebbles in the pond compared to the days that have really SHAPED me.
i don't need a wedding to signify a marriage.
thats bull shit. (i'm so sick to getting caught up in this.... i can't wait for OCT 17. haha)
all this family-drama-social-obligation-pressure-wackness
i'm sorry, am i suppose to be liking this unlikable process?
and, yes its fun to build things and make signs and get in touch with long-lost friends
but couldn't we just have had a "come as you wish" party, instead of this structured crap?
it feels so UN natural, and UN organic and so EXPENSIVE.
SO PLEASE, ELOPE.
PLEASE, have a small wedding
maybe a shot-gun-wedlock-"we better do this now that we have a kid"ceremony is a blessing in disguise
because honestly, the happiest day of my life, isn't going to be a wedding day,
unless i like the feeling of being stressed for no good reason,
and having everyone else's fucking opinion matter.
rant rant rant.
janice and auntie irene were right. ELOPE. Save yourself all the drama.
weddings are pretty much THE most self-centered day in a woman's life and it makes me sick thinking about the vaniety and self-indulgent and selfish and particular people can be. I can't stop.
I am not a wedding advocate. I hope someday I have children, or I'm an auntie, and I can tell them not to get married,
but instead just live together and make a lifetime committment to themselves as a couple and just get on with life,
because.... let's get real. Having 200 people share your intimate moments with you, makes me want to throw up.
the drive to the reception with be a sneak-a-toke drive. heal that anxiety with a bit of nature's goodness.
(an excerpt of the "help" diaries)
or maybe i just woke up and thought of all the things i have to do this month. and the wedding shouldn't be on the top of that list....
it is bogging me down.
(sorry alex, this is no way reflects your character or my love for you.
i just hate weddings and funerals and anniversaries and graduations and birthdays).