map vs. compass, fight!
map- you know where you are (starting point) and where you are trying to go (ending point). Maps are pretty pointless if you are just wandering around. I guess thats why the Situational Internationalists were so influential in Paris, because they applied the use of maps to their wandering. They took maps of other cities and walked along the streets of Paris, according to the maps of London, Tokyo, Amsterdam, etc. They would get "lost" and document their lostness, and try to understand what they discovered about Paris through their wanderings.
I attempted to see how "walkable" my own neighborhood is thru walkscore, i found that all my life's needs are walking distance from my house, places I didn't even know existed because I just don't drive certain directions or its hidden from plain sight. Perhaps if I walk Torrance/Gardena with a map of NYC or Portland, it would be interesting to see where I ended up.
compass- a direction guider. It tells you only the direction in which you are walking, but not the ultimate ending point. That is up to the traveler where they dub as their destination. I am constantly worrying about "what's my next step? where am i going to be in 5 years? are alex and i going to be able to be financially ready for 'life'?" Yet if I always have my compass ready and I follow the direction of truth, then whatever path I may walk upon, i am moving in the right direction. I feel that God breathes into us a 'soul compass', and we must quiet ourselves to hear where we must walk next, and when we should camp for the night.
These last 4 months were me fighting the feeling of "camping for the night" because I wanted to walk on. But perhaps I wasn't ready yet, I'm still not. There is much for me to figure out about myself, how I was raised, how I view the community that raised me, and the difference between culture and values. I feel that soon life will reveal itself, but only in small portions, and I must learn to understand my past to guide my future choices. I see different patterns that arise that are problematic in myself, and now that I have the time to question myself, I am seeing there is much to be changed within me.
Following the compass doesn't always mean its the right way. I screw up a lot. Probably more so than people following a map, but I feel that moving in a direction vs. moving towards an end result is more of a honest journey. Then when you arrive, you will say to yourself, "Wow, I never would have thought."