of the moment

someone once said that you write better when its on a typewriter. i don't know if this is true. it looks better, but isn't your brain working in a similar fashion as typing on a computer. i hate to admit this, but i can think faster on paper while typing than while writing. i just write to frikkin' slow. i love taking notes though. because i'm not writing in complete sentences, just fragmented thoughts, just the way i like it, i probably could write forever, with just commas, because it seems as if all my thoughts are just one continuous flow, like a river. every so often i stop though, and wonder how i got to a particular subject in my mind, but then i realize that the mind jumps, kind of like a cricket or a frog, bouncing, jumping from lily pad to lily pad, only sure of the next lily pad, but never quite sure where the end result will be, which was why i struggled in school while writing class compositions and papers. they always wanted you to start with the thesis, how the hell am i suppose to write the thesis in the beginning, when the thesis is essentially the conclusion. how do people write essays with theses at the beginning, i mean if you know what the result of the paper will be before you start writing it, why write it in the first place? right. wrong. this is why i do horribly in school, both high school and college, and the teachers would say, i need to see the points in which you are going to write about, and i would always answer, but i don't know what i'm going to write yet. they would look at me with a scowl and disapproval, and say, well, didn't you read the book so you should know what to write about. i don't mean to sound bitter or anything like that, its just that i have very bad memories of senior year AP english, basically i thought everything that was taught to us was crap, irrelevant, and stupid, but no one else seemed to notice because they were too busy trying to get into college, or something like that, all i wanted was a book to change my life, to twist my perspective so badly i would be forced to shave my head and run off to a place where no one knew me, which is what i did last year after i read some books that really did change my life and twist my perspective.

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